[ Closed ] Don't look back in anger, I heard you say

[of_the_highest_caliber]

Characters: Subaru of_the_highest_caliber and Sayaka tookupthesword
Date: 8/23
Summary: Clearing the air over lunch dinner THERE IS FOOD, OKAY?
Warnings: None I can think of. Do either canons even need spoiler warnings anymore?
Notes: Don't ask me how this fits in chronologically anywhere.


For someone who had invited another over to clear up the constant awkward misunderstandings between them, Subaru was not at all nervous about Sayaka's visit. In the time leading up to her arrival she busied herself first with a quick shower, then a bit of sweeping, and finally preparing the dinner she had planned since yesterday. The scent of steaming stir-fry vegetables and baked chicken fill the kitchen and adjacent room. Though Subaru has only set out two places on the low table, it looks as if her preparations could easily feed five or more. Chopsticks and other utensils are both available, tea, soda, and water are all ready in their pitchers or bottles, and she's just waiting near an open wall for the few minutes before the hour was up.

Comments

[of_the_highest_caliber]

What are the dangers? Is it a threat to just you and your friends, or everyone here? [ She won't tell Sayaka to calm down. She knows that sort of tone and the feelings that come with it. ]

[tookupthesword]

Everyone, probably.

... Seems innocent enough, says that it can grant you any wish, in exchange that you fight horrible monsters that are a terror to everyone around.

[of_the_highest_caliber]

Wait, wait a moment... [ Subaru had a hand up which she then put to the back of her head. ] It has that kind of power?

[tookupthesword]

[And... Sayaka does not respond well to that reaction.] Do not tell me you would consider it!

[of_the_highest_caliber]

Wishing... that's all it is. A wish. It doesn't guarantee anything. I'm just surprised that you know something that has that kind of power. [ She frowns a bit; this is probably the most serious Sayaka's seen her. ] ...I knew of a case where someone tried to use a lot of great power to make their wish come true, and it turned out to be impossible even though they had gained that power after all.

I wouldn't let anyone try something like that.

[tookupthesword]

Make no mistake here, these wishes came true, like a miracle. And the other part was true as well, fighting nightmarish creatures made up of despair, anger and all sorts of horrible stuff. Controlling their own familiars to attack people, manipulating emotions to get them to off themselves.

Having a miracle happen and becoming an unsung hero, protecting everyone... there's just some people who would dive into that.

[of_the_highest_caliber]

It sounds fantastical, even for me and coming from a world where magic is really common. [ Subaru sighs and then thinks back on her conversation with Homura. ] ...is that what happened to you? Did you make a wish, or just know someone who did? [ Without that answer there are just too many assumptions left to make. ]

[tookupthesword]

... I did. There was this... guy I knew. Ended up in an accident, had trouble using his legs and one of his hands was beyond recovery. He played the violin, and with his hand like that, he'd never be able to again, even if he got out.

And there I was, coming by every day, bringing him music that he would never play again... I was just torturing the guy... [And she hit a tangent.]

[of_the_highest_caliber]

[ That was definitely a brief, pitiable look. Oh, Sayaka... ]

I'm sure that wasn't what you were thinking. You didn't want him to forget about music, isn't that it? [ That was her way of thinking. ] So the wish you made... was to be able to heal people like him? Is that your power?

[tookupthesword]

Ah, no. You got it wrong. My wish for his hand to be healed. I don't know if I can even heal other people, all I do know is I heal myself without even thinking about it. I could stab myself with a knife right now and be fine in the blink of an eye.

... I don't know what I was doing with the visits anymore, it was so long ago now.

[of_the_highest_caliber]

Hm. [ Subaru nods, unsure of what more there was to say on the matter. She trusts Sayaka's explanation because she doesn't have any other sources, and though there have been misunderstandings, Subaru doesn't feel there would be any benefit of being lied to. ]

It's an awful way to learn a lesson.

[tookupthesword]

When I made that contract, I thought I was doing some good. Healing him, and being able to become a hero... but what a lie that was. The heroic things I did can be counted on a single finger, and even then... all I wanted from that wish was for him to like me, like some selfish little girl.

Naturally we never spoke again. Leaving the hospital? Not even an attempt to inform me. We go to the same school? Never tried to meet up with me.

[of_the_highest_caliber]

[ Her heart really goes out to the girl. No one should have to go through something like that at all. ] If you had the same chance... would you do it again? Make the same wish, I mean.

I can't even judge if it's selfish because everyone does selfish things. [ A weak laugh. ] My best friend is always scolding me for that.

[tookupthesword]

You should ask that again in a bit. [Not that there will be a need to...]

Anyway... after the wish and contract, becoming a so called magical girl, something was needed to turn into one. [She holds out her hand, and the ring on her finger turns into a blue gem.] A pretty rock, huh.

Please don't touch.

[of_the_highest_caliber]

[ The comment is... an odd one, but she listens to the rest of what Sayaka has to say. She leans closer to see the gem more clearly and then nods. ] I see it. Your "Soul Gem", right? It's how you transform? So it's a little closer to a Device, but...

Homura was right. Things aren't the same for us at all, really.

[tookupthesword]

[And a deep breath.]

Now, there was something I wasn't told about, nobody else either.

The rock you're looking at is Sayaka Miki. [It's been so long since it all happened... but it's still horrible.]

[of_the_highest_caliber]

[ ...now here's where something clicks into place. "Soul" gems. The defensiveness over that artifact. That phrasing.

Subaru said nothing. She didn't even breathe. All he could do was sit there slack-jawed for a very long moment. ]


.... there's no way to undo it? [ It's a stupid question. If there was a way, from the sound of things, Sayaka would probably turn back the hands in an instant when her plans failed. ...Right? ]

[tookupthesword]

If the fact this happened was kept secret, then certainly a way to undo it, if there even is one, would be as well.

You understand why I said to just wipe out that horrible little freak if you see it, right?

[of_the_highest_caliber]

[ Numbly, since this was still a big shock to her. ] Of course. That makes sense...

[ Though it begs another question. ] How... does it work? I mean. You're there, holding that.

[tookupthesword]

Well... after I unknowingly had my soul ripped out, this body has been remotely controlled. If the two separate by... a distance I don't quite remember, the body falls over, like a corpse.

Guess how I found out.

[of_the_highest_caliber]

[ There is a visible shudder as Sayaka utters the word "corpse". ] I've felt something like that, before... like a forced shut-down.

[tookupthesword]

I don't really think 'feel' is the right word here.

[of_the_highest_caliber]

[ A nod. ] No I know. It's not going to be anywhere close to what you all experience. It's... nothing I've ever dealt with before. But it sounds like something the Bureau would definitely work to prevent.

[tookupthesword]

[She refrains from asking 'so why haven't they'.]

After that... I just lost it. I was pretty much a zombie. Who would even want me, like that? Life just seemed to have lost meaning, but I couldn't just give up without a fight. That's why I just... ah, right, I forgot to mention something.

It doesn't happen here, but back then, soul gems used to darken up as magic was used. Only by using something called a Grief Seed, left behind by those monsters we were made to fight could it be cleaned up. You wouldn't guess it from who's here, but I wouldn't be surprised if most other girls who made a contract became vicious vultures over the things, going as far to kill each other for them, just so they won't get in the way.

[There is a intensely bitter and venom filled voice coming along with that explanation.]

[of_the_highest_caliber]

[ She can hear that. It's enough to put the idea of finishing their meal out of her mind, for the moment. Subaru doesn't even know when she had put her fork down and pushed the plate away. ] Let me... make sure I have this right.

You make a wish with that creature, and become a magical girl. Then all you can do is fight monsters, using magic, so that you can... continue to use magic to fight monsters? There's no end to it? [ This sounds terrible. ]