[ CLOSED ] I should give a little warning

[of_the_highest_caliber]

Characters: Akiha, Katina, and Subaru
Date: 11/07
Summary: Katina makes her grand return to society!
Warnings: Drama? Who knows...

[ Subaru had been looking forward to today. Is that odd of her? Probably so, but it couldn't be helped. She had tried so very hard the past couple of days to not worry about Katina out alone in the wilderness, just as the cyborg had promised, but there's only so much she can put off a feeling like that. Working out, doing maintenance, and exploration can only distract her so much.

Soon as she heard the knock at the door that late morning, Subaru set down her polishing rag and jogged through her open room door to open the front one. She smiled, taking one quick look at the woman's condition before greeting her proper. ] Welcome back, Katina.

Comments

[grandtheftmecha]

Well yeah, but then I'd be even more of an ass.

[ritsu_kouyou]

And I wouldn't have been nice about it.

[Akiha finally decides to turn from the window and fully face Katina. Her expression is mostly neutral though her eyes aren't very guarded. She looks the woman over briefly before leaning back a bit in the window seat, letting her feet back down to the floor.]

Are you done being a coward?

[grandtheftmecha]

[ Those bruises would've been more for Subaru to fuss over too. ]

I am. I'm still confused and worried, but I'm not going to run away from those feelings, and... my... other feelings.

[ Akiha's pretty clearly feeling some turmoil too, though Katina doesn't hide it at all. ]

[ritsu_kouyou]

And what are your feelings?

Mine certainly haven't changed from what I said the other day. I am still upset and I probably will continue to be for a while depending on what you say. And before you even think of calling me a hypocrite, allow me to remind you that you and Kris knew about each other. I never hid that I was involved with you both.

[She just hid how she actually felt about them, even to herself.]

[grandtheftmecha]

Yeah. You, me, and Kris, were pretty... mostly honest with each other.

[ Hiding depth of feelings is more a matter of figuring yourself out than being honest and not a big fat cheater. ]

You've got every right to be upset with me, but that time I spent out in the middle of nowhere... I was thinking about things. I'm still working things over in my mind, but... I... despite all that...

[ This is dumb. Falling for two people is even more complicated when you aren't sure if it's capable of working. ]

...I think I really love you. And I also... love Subaru.

[ritsu_kouyou]

[A couple things went through Akiha's mind right then. Katina 'thinks' she loves her? What kind of confession is that? Is it even real, what if she 'thinks' she doesn't tomorrow? Before Kris declared her love for Akiha, the half-demon could honestly say she hadn't really been loved before. Her father certainly never loved her, Shiki didn't return her feelings... So, she had the same question when Kris said it to her: Why?

Why would anyone love her? She was a bitch. She was a blood-sucking demon that had a deep urge to kill everything that sometimes got the better of her. And before she could stop herself, it came out in a tiny, quiet voice.]

...why me?

[grandtheftmecha]

[ It was a shitty confession, maybe, but it was honest. Katina was really trying to be more honest, and she wasn't sure just... how she actually felt, no matter how much it felt like love.

Maybe she just wanted to know how Akiha felt before she committed herself at all. ]

Why you? Ah jeez...

[ Mocking her, putting a collar on her, and sometimes uncontrollably violent due to her demonic side. Despite that... ]

You know it's... hard to explain, because I doubt you'll even acknowledge some of your... positive traits. You're prideful, but confident and strong... possessive, but loyal...

I think I need to work on how I'm putting things a little more.

[ritsu_kouyou]

[Akiha was irritated that she let that little vulnerability show and managed to recover quickly.]

Words are not your forte. You are a woman of action, not talk.

[grandtheftmecha]

[ Not many people have seen Akiha vulnerable. ]

...it's hard to answer a 'why' question with actions. All I can do is show how I feel.

[ritsu_kouyou]

[Akiha hates looking vulnerable. She does raise her eyebrow at that 'show how I feel', though, then looks down while pushing her hair behind her shoulder.]

I suppose you are correct in that.

[grandtheftmecha]

[ Katina's hands drop to her sides, and she looks down for a moment. It's hard being a woman of action and not knowing what to do. ]

So what about how you feel?

[ritsu_kouyou]

I've already told you how I feel. Two days doesn't change that for me, Katina.

...though there are some things I don't understand.

[grandtheftmecha]

...alright then. Anything you wanna talk about right now? I'm... trying to be a little more transparent.

[ritsu_kouyou]

Yes.

[A pause as Akiha's cheeks color just a bit in embarrassment over what she has to admit.]

Now... I was toeing the line of inversion most of that week, so it could have just been me, but it felt like you were trying to get me to kill you. Why?

[grandtheftmecha]

[ Yeah, that was probably the worst time to be dumb enough to goad Akiha like that. Or... the best? Something like that.

Katina takes a deep breath. ]

Didn't... didn't expect either of you to forgive me. So I thought... well... if we just... all blew up and got it out of the way, then... it would be done and over with sooner. And I kinda felt like I deserved it since I know people come back here.

1/2

[ritsu_kouyou]

[Yes, this is the look Akiha gives Katina at first.]

[ritsu_kouyou]

Come here so I can slap you again. No one deserves death - even temporary death - unless they are moral-less monster that enjoys and thinks of nothing else but ripping the entrails out of something.

[aka the thing Akiha knows she will some day become.]

[grandtheftmecha]

[ ...yeah she feels dumb stop... looking at her like that...

Katina walks up. ]

Pretty specific there but... ah... I uh, guess you're right.

[ritsu_kouyou]

[Akiha reaches up and grabs Katina's collar to jerk her down to her level. STOP BEING SO TALL.

...she doesn't slap her though.]

Don't ever tempt me to kill you again.

[grandtheftmecha]

[ NOPE she likes being this much taller than people. ]

I won't. I'm... not going to be that dumb ever again. I'm sorry.

[ritsu_kouyou]

Good.

[Akiha lets go of Katina's shirt and lightly touches her cheek. It's only for a very cold second before she quickly takes it away like maybe she shouldn't be touching her. Or doesn't want to but can't help it.]

...so what was going on in your head? I know there usually isn't much going on in there, but something was.

[grandtheftmecha]

[ Katina frowns. She's not sure what that touch means. ]

A lot more than usual... those dreams - nightmares - whatever... they were saying that if you guys didn't like what I'd been doing, I could just go find someone else.

Which was a total lie, and something that was in the back of my head because I was afraid and, well, when I am... I... really tend to deal with it by being dumb and boastful and... and... blustery...

[ritsu_kouyou]

Hmm.

[Akiha didn't feel like divulging that her nights had been filled with her draining Katina and Kris dry - so no one else could ever have them - and then painting the Garden red with everyone else's blood. She'd gone through all the blood Holiday had given her that week trying to control herself.]

What were you really afraid of?

[grandtheftmecha]

[ Knowing that Akiha didn't give in to any of that might make Katina feel worse about her own self-control. It would also be... a little revealing, though. ]

Losing the two of you. Making both of you hate me for... for going behind your backs.

[ritsu_kouyou]

[Akiha came so close a couple times that she's ashamed to admit more than she already did.]

Was it the coward in you making you go behind our back or something else?

[She is not really pulling her punches despite being calm.]