"come, come," I hear it calling me

[headedforhope]

Characters: headedforhope, gentlecuteside, revolutionized, waha
Date: 2/14~ and onward, spanning the length of the event.
Summary: The magic of the Gardens draws Mami to each of these three girls in turn, and them to her, keeping the pair locked together until both reveal something to the other.
Warnings: Should be nothing, will edit if anything comes up.

[Mami is no stranger to the feeling of her heart fluttering in her chest, the sensation of being tugged by the fragile strings toward another. She's also no stranger to resisting it and making the lessening of distance a slow and cautious thing, if she allows it to happen at all. Gradual, like some intricate, orbiting dance of light footsteps and restrained movements.

The magic at play affords her that much, at least, but no amount of digging in her heels and shoving away the feeling of being pulled can stop the inevitable from happening.]

Comments

[gentlecuteside]

It's nothing.

[The very thought of confessing - especially when it was a hopeless cause - embarrassed the hell out of her.]

[headedforhope]

[Maybe if Mami's head was clear of her own struggles with romance, maybe if she was a step removed from such feelings like she used to be, she could immediately hazard a guess as to the reason behind Sakurako's behavior. But she isn't, and thus can't - although there's a dim yet growing suspicion taking root beneath the surface.]

It doesn't seem like nothing, is all.

[She hesitantly reaches for one of the other girl's sleeves.]

[gentlecuteside]

[Amamiya jerks her arm away with sudden violence.]

Nothing is wrong. Can we please drop this?

[headedforhope]

[She freezes, then lets her hand drop to her side. That stung, a little - because this girl isn't some stranger, she's a friend - and Mami takes a step backwards.]

....of course. I'm sorry, I- I guess I was just worried.

[An apologetic nod.]

[gentlecuteside]

[Now that she's had a second to calm down she feels bad about snapping at her like that. Just in case she wasn't embarrassed enough already.]

No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bitten your head off like that.

[headedforhope]

[



A barely noticeable twitch.]

It's all right, I shouldn't have pried so much, worry or not.

FUCK I DID NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT PUN

[gentlecuteside]

It's just...it's very personal.

it's okay I forgive you

[headedforhope]

Personal, huh.... [Her expression goes thoughtful then, almost wistful.] I know what that's like. It can be scary, opening up about those feelings.

[Then she softens, a memory blooming behind her eyes.] Mm, I remember when you were finally able to speak up about your situation back home. I was really happy for you.

[gentlecuteside]

Yes, I...I appreciate you being there for me. It was good to have someone to share the details with. You were very helpful to me.

[headedforhope]

Ehehe, really? Then I'm content, knowing that I could be of use to you.

[....oh, but that sounds so...clinical. It sounds cold, and Mami's brows furrow slightly as she searches for a better turn of phrase. She's come a long way, but some nuances of emotional intimacy still tend to slip through her fingers.]

Ah, that is - ....I'm glad we became friends.

[gentlecuteside]

I...I am too.

[But her face flickers a little. Yep, friends...and they won't be anything else.]

You have been a really good friend to me. I wish I could have met you before coming here, to be honest.

[headedforhope]

Really?

[She thinks that over, tries to imagine it.....compares how she is now to how she was then. Mami smiles in a rueful sort of way.]

Heh, I'm not sure if I can agree. I don't think you would have liked me very much.

[gentlecuteside]

Really?

[She found that a little surprising.]

Why not?

[headedforhope]

I was a different person then. [She idly sproings one of her curls, a slow and thoughtful gesture.] On the surface, I acted much the same as I do now, but.....mm.

[Mami goes quiet, marshaling her thoughts. It's important, here, to not simply take the voice of her self-hatred for the gospel truth. That's a habit she's spent too long trying to break to be able to afford indulging it now.]

I guess...I was rather foolish. I was so afraid of rejection that I never let others in close, even when being alone was so painful. I thought that if I isolated myself, I wouldn't have my hopes shot down. ...but running away didn't do me any good. I just felt that terrible loneliness. Even so, I felt stuck in place - always distancing myself, unable to move forward.

[She speaks in calm, measured tones as she gazes off into the scenery, neither asking for pity nor seeking understanding.]

I'm still trying to change, you know. I don't want to be a girl that can only cry by herself - I want to connect to others, and like myself, and....and be happy.

[gentlecuteside]

I...understand very well. You sound a lot like I did.

[She chuckles.]

Remember when we first met? Good grief, so much posturing.

[headedforhope]

[She also laughs, a quiet and rueful sound.]

Ah, yes. I don't think I ever properly apologized for my part in that.

[gentlecuteside]

[She dismisses that with a wave.]

No need. That was on both of us. I was...well, it was soon after we'd arrived, and I felt...I wasn't in the best place when I got pulled here, and I felt...isolated...no, alone, and...gah, I can't think of the right words. It just won't come out right. I'm sorry.

[headedforhope]

[Mami shakes her head slowly.]

No, it's all right - you don't need to apologize. I understand. [a pause, and she admits:] I was the same way beneath it all. Alone....even angry, and much else.

[Mami becomes subdued then, her smile a little sad.] To be honest, I think I took those painful feelings on others as well as yourself. I'm glad I'm no longer that sort of person. [she glances around and adds in a thoughtful sort of voice:] I guess I owe the Queen my thanks for that, in part. If I had never been brought here, I wouldn't have met you or any of my other friends - and I'd have never changed for the better.

[gentlecuteside]

In a strange way we both owe the Queen a great deal. She is a surprisingly helpful host for a supernatural kidnapper.

[headedforhope]

Seems so, huh? Funny....it used to be that I couldn't imagine feeling anything other than anger when it came to her. Or perhaps pity.

[gentlecuteside]

Well, of the two supernatural kidnappers I have experience with, she's certainly the friendlier of the two.

[headedforhope]

[A wince, only partly theatrical.]

Geez, putting it that way, I don't have much to complain about. I've been through some strange things, but supernatural kidnapping has only happened once.

[gentlecuteside]

Well, in a way I suppose to should be grateful to kidnapper number one as well. If it wasn't for her, I would probably be dead now, and Tokyo destroyed.

[headedforhope]

[Mami sobers at that, becomes reflective and quiet. At last, she responds:]

Sometimes it overwhelms me, thinking about everything that might have or might not have been if this place didn't exist....or if certain things in my own world had or had not happened. Mere chance, or powers beyond our control or understanding or awareness, are responsible for so much of our fates......

[gentlecuteside]

There's no point in thinking about things you can't control, like that. Things are what they are, and pondering what-ifs is a waste of time and concentration.