queenoflogs | "come, come," I hear it calling me

Entry tags:

"come, come," I hear it calling me

Characters:

headedforhope,

gentlecuteside,

revolutionized,

waha
Date: 2/14~ and onward, spanning the length of the event.
Summary: The magic of the Gardens draws Mami to each of these three girls in turn, and them to her, keeping the pair locked together until both reveal something to the other.
Warnings: Should be nothing, will edit if anything comes up.

[Mami is no stranger to the feeling of her heart fluttering in her chest, the sensation of being tugged by the fragile strings toward another. She's also no stranger to resisting it and making the lessening of distance a slow and cautious thing, if she allows it to happen at all. Gradual, like some intricate, orbiting dance of light footsteps and restrained movements.

The magic at play affords her that much, at least, but no amount of digging in her heels and shoving away the feeling of being pulled can stop the inevitable from happening.]

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[She also laughs, a quiet and rueful sound.]

Ah, yes. I don't think I ever properly apologized for my part in that.

[She dismisses that with a wave.]

No need. That was on both of us. I was...well, it was soon after we'd arrived, and I felt...I wasn't in the best place when I got pulled here, and I felt...isolated...no, alone, and...gah, I can't think of the right words. It just won't come out right. I'm sorry.

[Mami shakes her head slowly.]

No, it's all right - you don't need to apologize. I understand. [a pause, and she admits:] I was the same way beneath it all. Alone....even angry, and much else.

[Mami becomes subdued then, her smile a little sad.] To be honest, I think I took those painful feelings on others as well as yourself. I'm glad I'm no longer that sort of person. [she glances around and adds in a thoughtful sort of voice:] I guess I owe the Queen my thanks for that, in part. If I had never been brought here, I wouldn't have met you or any of my other friends - and I'd have never changed for the better.

In a strange way we both owe the Queen a great deal. She is a surprisingly helpful host for a supernatural kidnapper.

Seems so, huh? Funny....it used to be that I couldn't imagine feeling anything other than anger when it came to her. Or perhaps pity.

Well, of the two supernatural kidnappers I have experience with, she's certainly the friendlier of the two.

[A wince, only partly theatrical.]

Geez, putting it that way, I don't have much to complain about. I've been through some strange things, but supernatural kidnapping has only happened once.

Well, in a way I suppose to should be grateful to kidnapper number one as well. If it wasn't for her, I would probably be dead now, and Tokyo destroyed.

[Mami sobers at that, becomes reflective and quiet. At last, she responds:]

Sometimes it overwhelms me, thinking about everything that might have or might not have been if this place didn't exist....or if certain things in my own world had or had not happened. Mere chance, or powers beyond our control or understanding or awareness, are responsible for so much of our fates......

There's no point in thinking about things you can't control, like that. Things are what they are, and pondering what-ifs is a waste of time and concentration.

[Mami concedes that with a nod, but doesn't relinquish her stance.]

I can't deny that's true. Maybe it makes me a fool to do it anyway - I can accept that. Mm....wouldn't be the first mistake I've made.

[Then Mami seems to consider something, and there's a certain hesitance in the way she glances at the other girl.]

Hey, Amamiya-san?

Hmm? What is it, Mami-san?

It occurs to me that I know quite a bit about you - ah, like your powers, and your story....but you don't really know much about me, huh?

[She grows almost somber as she responds, thumbing the gem of her ring...the jewel that houses her very soul.]

I didn't really think about it much at first, but that doesn't seem right.

Oh! Well...you don't need to talk about it if you don't want. I don't mind, really.

[That does give Mami pause, but then she shakes her head - and the light tugging sensation in her heart seems to ease, as if agreeing with her choice.]

No, it's fine. Ah.... [Mami looks down at her ring. She forces the twisting and nervous motion of her fingers to stop in favor of cupping her palms. There's a soft flash of light, and her Soul Gem materializes; the golden glow free of taint or corruption.] ...I wanted to show you this.

[Amamiya leans in closer for a better look, her eyes poring over the brilliant surface.]

It's beautiful. But what is it?

It's what marks me as a magical girl. It's the source of my power, Amamiya-san, and...

[She pauses again, the light flush in her cheeks that the other girl's compliment had provoked fading fast. Mami's smile dims.] ...it's my very soul, to be honest, housed not in my body but in this gem. [Her pale, elegant fingers crook forward in a protective curl. Mami's voice drops.]

If it gets broken, or thrown away, I'll die. And if it becomes completely corrupted....I'll become a monster.

[A soft, fragile sort of chuckle. It pains her to be this honest, and yet to shy away would just be cowardly. Amamiya trusted Mami with her secrets; now it's time for the favor to be returned.]

I don't suppose you still think it's beautiful now, huh?

Oh!

[She looks rather surprised by that.]

But why? Isn't that dangerous?

Mm, you'd think so, right? But you see - by having my soul in this gem, it's harder for me to feel pain.

[A sigh.]

When I used to fight Witches....the monsters that used to be magical girls....I could get thrown around quite a bit and still be all right. I remember being tossed into a wall so hard, once, that it left a crater. ...But it only hurt a little.

And the monsters you fought...they all used to be people like you? So...

[She didn't say 'What's the point of having magical girls to begin with?' but it's clearly there on the tip of her tongue.]

It seems pointless, huh?

[She stares at her Soul Gem for a little while longer, then returns it to ring form before crossing her arms in a self-protective way.]

Honestly, I don't know the big purpose behind it all. But....since I'm already a magical girl, and not yet a Witch, I might as well keep trying to protect people with my power.

[Amamiya stood there, thinking for a moment. Then she reaches out and takes the hand with the ring on it in hers, blushing like crazy.]

I do still think that it was beautiful.

[A pause, the brief urge to shy away that's quelled in favor of taking Amamiya's hand, the one reaching out to her, in both of Mami's own. Her own blush is lighter; her pleasure is platonic.]

...thank you, Amamiya-san. It means a lot to hear that from you.

I mean it! I...

[She lets Mami's hand fall, ashamedly. Oh dammit. She's come this far, she may as well just out with it. She immediately starts babbling:]

This is probably stupid of me, I know you like someone else, I don't have a chance but it's killing me keeping it a secret and you deserve to know. I...like you, Mami-san.

[You could cook an egg on her face right now.]

[There is no smooth, graceful reply to that. How could there be? It's nothing Mami had expected to hear, not from anyone - and especially not Amamiya. An unusual sort of obliviousness, one might think, given Mami's skill with all things subtle....but recently she's been too wrapped up in her own conundrums of the heart, and so any hint of romantic longing has gone utterly unnoticed.

Which is precisely why Mami feels blindsided now, her world turned on its ear. And in this moment of vulnerable surprise, her composure falls away: she just stares at the other girl with an openly shocked expression that looks (and feels) so strange upon her face. But even so, even as her mind is falling over itself trying to process this, part of her instinctively tries to be careful - tries to be mindful of Amamiya's feelings, to be sensitive and kind as much as she can manage. So Mami doesn't blurt out something thoughtless and thus hurtful, she doesn't turn and leave to escape this suddenly awkward and uncomfortable situation. She just stands there, silent, watching Amamiya.

She wonders to herself how it would feel if their positions were reversed, if a rejection was obvious and inevitable but the confession was still given anyway....how would she want to be treated? What would be the best way to lessen a pain that couldn't be avoided? And the answer to that is....well, Mami doesn't know. She has no experience with this; she can only try her best, which in this case is hesitantly drawing Amamiya into a hug.]

...Thank you, Amamiya-san. Thank you for being honest with me. I know it- it couldn't have been easy, right?

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gentlecuteside - 2012-06-17 19:03 (UTC) - Expand

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