"come, come," I hear it calling me

[headedforhope]

Characters: headedforhope, gentlecuteside, revolutionized, waha
Date: 2/14~ and onward, spanning the length of the event.
Summary: The magic of the Gardens draws Mami to each of these three girls in turn, and them to her, keeping the pair locked together until both reveal something to the other.
Warnings: Should be nothing, will edit if anything comes up.

[Mami is no stranger to the feeling of her heart fluttering in her chest, the sensation of being tugged by the fragile strings toward another. She's also no stranger to resisting it and making the lessening of distance a slow and cautious thing, if she allows it to happen at all. Gradual, like some intricate, orbiting dance of light footsteps and restrained movements.

The magic at play affords her that much, at least, but no amount of digging in her heels and shoving away the feeling of being pulled can stop the inevitable from happening.]

Comments

[revolutionized]

[Utena's smile widens helplessly, and she perhaps looks as silly and flustered as she feels, but she can't quite manage the desire to be embarrassed by it this time. Instead she walks a little closer, hands stuffed in her pockets, breath escaping in puffs of shimmering, frosted air.]

I've been good! Ah, Himemiya arrived, so I've been a little busy... [And here it occurs to her to apologize.] Sorry if I haven't been around much. This is the first time in a while that I've had a friend from home, and Chu-chu is here too, and he--she gets into so much trouble that I can barely keep up.

[She does look truly apologetic, clearly intent on taking the full blame for their lack of contact over the past couple of weeks. It (perhaps gratefully) has not crossed her mind that Mami might be deliberately avoiding her.]

[headedforhope]

[She turns fully around to face the other girl, the movement graceful and betraying not a hint of her real feelings. That's something yet to change, might not ever change - the way she can almost always hide each twist and pang of emotion before they can show in her eyes or the lines of her body. There's the briefest pause as Mami studies the apology scribbled so openly across Utena's face.

She smiles.]

Oh, it's quite all right. I'm sure with you helping her, she'll settle in just fine.

[It only hurts a little to smoothly deliver such a lie; Mami does not really believe that. And furthermore, she does not particularly want to keep talking about it. Dimly, Mami senses that the invisible tug which had led the two of them here has not faded entirely, only eased. But the lingering desire to stay close, to draw nearer still.....is it only the magic at work, or have her own feelings amplified it? Mami doesn't know, and rather than dwell on such things, she glances back across the frozen lake.]

...it sure is pretty, huh?

[A quiet, subtle attempt to steer this conversation elsewhere, away from the topics of Anthy and absences.]

[revolutionized]

[Utena makes a non-committal sort of noise. Truth be told, she's not sure if she believes it either. Anthy had taken their new residence with the same unerring calm she handled everything else. It was just as familiar and comforting as it was alien.]

...Yeah, it is.

[She takes a step, then another, until before she knows it, she's sitting beside Mami at the lake.] Say, do you remember when I taught you how to swim?

[headedforhope]

[She remains standing. It's too much of a temptation to hunker down and sit beside Utena, close enough to let their shoulders press together - it's not a happiness she can grant herself, no matter how small and harmless it might be. Still, her smile somehow manages to grow warm and crooked at the edges.]

Mm, I do. [...] You were awfully patient with me.

[revolutionized]

Ah, yeah. [Utena returns the smile, but it's subdued and distracted.] You know, it's odd. I don't really remember learning how to swim, but I think I had a patient teacher too. [Her eyes slide away from Mami's, and she falls into a contemplative silence.]

[headedforhope]

[Mami finds herself disliking this silence, although it isn't yet as awkward or painful as it could be. She doesn't like the thoughts she's being drawn to contemplate while such a void holds sway.]

Oh, I'd believe it. Don't we all teach how we were taught, usually?

[She takes a step forward, tests the strength of the ice with one foot.]

Hey, you know, I wish it was spring already. I'd like to go swimming again. Maybe even find that rope swing - remember?

[revolutionized]

Yeah.

[Utena exhales; the breath escapes her in a burst of foggy air. Her focus stays on the iced-over lake.] I remember...mm, I'd like to swim again too.

[She tucks in her knees close to her chest. The memory of Vanille flickers to the forefront of her mind, and then it's gone. She wonders if people really do go home when they leave this place. Sometimes she isn't sure if her own return trip was real or not.] It's too bad we don't have skates. I wonder if the ice is strong enough for that.

[headedforhope]

We could always make some with the magic dirt....we wouldn't need much just for skates.

[A pause, and Mami takes a second step out on the ice, putting her full weight on the frozen rime. And maybe it's stupid of her - maybe it's reckless and foolish and not like Mami at all. But she tells herself that she could jump back quickly, that she's close enough to shore for it to be okay even if she couldn't, and she doesn't entertain the idea that maybe Utena would catch her before Mami fell through into the frigid water.]

[revolutionized]

Oh, right. We could... [She watches Mami take another step onto the ice, and stands up.] O-oi, be careful! You don't know for sure if the ice is thin or not.

[Utena is tense and poised to jump and catch Mami if the ice does indeed give way.]

[headedforhope]

Compared to you, Utena-san, I'm the very soul of caution.

[Mami teases, yet there's a secret and hidden hurt somewhere deep beneath the quiet laughter in her voice. It's easy to tell herself that if Mami crashed through the ice, if she got soaked and caught a chill and died for a second time....it's easy to tell herself that it wouldn't matter. Mami's already dead - and the depths of Utena's grief would be shallow compared to if it were not Mami who turned blue and still and cold, but the Rose Bride of Ohtori.

But it doesn't matter. The ice holds, resisting her weight as Mami resists those gnawing, jealous thoughts.]

See? It's fine.

[revolutionized]

Mm, maybe. [In contrast, Utena's expression is unusually somber. She has not smiled much during this discussion, and the joke doesn't appear to soften her expression. She only looks thoughtful.]

If you're sure...huh. [An experimental tap of her heel against the ground. The dirt here seems unyielding, cold and frosted over.] I wonder if it'll give enough to use...

[She keeps one wary, concerned eye on Mami on the ice, but reaches for a thin branch and begins to tap away at the ground. It does give, with surprising ease, and Utena chalks that up to the unusual qualities of the soil in the Gardens.] Just...give me a few seconds...

[headedforhope]

[Mami pretends not to notice that lack of Utena's usual cheer and exuberance. Things have been taxing and awkward for the both of them and for awhile now, she rationalizes. Plus, Utena has the Rose Bride to look after. It's likely not out of any worry directed at Mami and Mami alone - not really, not to any tempting extent.

This thought process is a necessary one for all that it's also painful; dwelling on the possibly of Utena perhaps feeling the same, Ohtori or no Ohtori....nothing will come of that but crushed hope.]

All right, I won't go anywhere.

[And she doesn't, aside from taking a few short, experimental slides on the ice with her shoes. It really would be easier with skates, she muses.]

[revolutionized]

[Soon enough, Utena has gathered enough dirt. Her eyes briefly flicker away from Mami in order to focus her thoughts, to give the strange magic in the soil a shape to cling to. It eventually forms two pairs of matching white ice skates, brand new. As a result of her usage of the dirt, a golden blonde streak slowly winds down the length of particularly long lock of Utena's hair, the movement as slow and delicate as a skilled painter's hand. She sighs deeply, picks up the skates, and makes her way to the ice.]

There, it's done. Geez, I hope my hair isn't stuck this way. [She knew by now the effects of the dirt were only temporary, but it made her uneasy, nonetheless.]

[headedforhope]

[Mami looks up at that, and finds her smile turning into a warm, crooked thing despite the secret and ugly feelings of jealousy. Utena looks....cute like that, marked by the Gardens, if only for a short time. She makes her way back to solid ground, being careful not to let her feet slip out from under her.]

I'm sure it won't be. I'd still be small and fluffy if the magic here worked like that. [Mami regards the skates, pauses, and nods her approval.] Those look like they'll work great, Utena-san.

[revolutionized]

[Seeing Mami smile makes Utena smile too, hesitant and soft. She begins to put on her own skates.] Ah...right, I remember that. You were really cute.

[She fumbles with the laces of the skates then, instead of looking at Mami's face.] And thanks. Geez, this magic stuff's still really hard for me to get used to. I wonder if it'll ever stop being odd.

[headedforhope]

[She bends over to put on the remaining pair. Her fingers, by contrast, move with a graceful purpose.]

Ah, no, I'm afraid you're mistaken. I wasn't cute in the slightest. [The tone of her voice is deceptively light.] Mm, it will in time, I suppose. I guess I hardly notice it anymore - I'm used to that sort of thing.

[revolutionized]

You don't think you were cute? [It's said in a disbelieving tone of voice.] You had little kitten ears. [She pantomimes this.] And you were so small. There's no way that's not cute.

[The skates fit perfectly, but Utena honestly didn't expect anything but. She stands up, and begins the awkward trek toward the ice.]

[headedforhope]

I never felt cute for even a single moment.

[She, too, starts to carefully pick her way toward the frozen-over lake.]

It was pretty embarrassing, you know!

[revolutionized]

Mm, I guess I'd be embarrassed if I was that small. But I bet if it had happened to anyone else, you'd think it was cute.

[Utena grins, and finally gets to the ice. She's careful not too move too quickly -- ice-skating is not her strong suit.] Ah, geez. It's been a while since I've done this...

[headedforhope]

Oh, like if it had happened to you?

[Mami has never ice-skated before, but she seems to take to it fairly quickly. It's calls for a grace and sense of balance that she possesses in spades, and after a few unsteady attempts, Mami is casually skating circles around Utena.

Literally.]

[revolutionized]

[Utena frowns, displeased at being one-upped at anything even remotely athletic, and so steels her courage and begins to properly skate. She starts off a little unsteadily, and there's a brief and frightening instant where she's sure she'll fall. But her balance is regained, and she glides closer to the center of the smooth, crystal ice.]

I wouldn't make a good kitten. [She winds around Mami, and for a moment it almost seems as if they are dancing along the surface of the clear and frozen-over lake. But the moment passes, and Utena adjusts to instead skate beside Mami.] The blonde hair's not so bad, I guess...it's better than thinking everyone's a princess.

[headedforhope]

I disagree, I think you'd make a better one than I had. [Mami watches Utena in an unobtrusive, almost secretive way, prepared to try and catch her should she indeed fall. But Utena does not.] Heh, I remember that. It was pretty funny in hindsight.

[They skate side-by-side for awhile, but then Mami draws away - meanders off out upon an untouched swathe of ice. The light in her eyes dim as her thoughts turn inward; her movements are unconscious, languid, aimless. She makes idle, meaningless designs in the ice.]

I'd be a terrible princess, too. One of my friends would make a much better one. [...] Aha, and another would be even worse than me...

[revolutionized]

Mm, nah. [A smile.] Cats are graceful, right? And you're more graceful than I am. Himemiya, she's the same way...except for one time... [When she'd dropped that teacup. Utena had never seen Anthy drop anything before that day.] But she doesn't act like a cat either.

[She's content to watch Mami glide along the ice for a while, but then curiosity wins over, and she speaks up again.] Which friends?

[headedforhope]

[The mention of Anthy brings Mami back to the present with a snap, like a bubble being popped in one sure, swift movement. A pointed moment of silence; she lets the thread of that particular conversation lay abandoned. Mami does not want to think about the Rose Bride, does not relish the feeling of unease and wariness and bitter, bitter jealousy twisting her insides.]

Madoka-san, she'd be the better princess. Kind, innocent....and delicate, open and giving. The sort to cry over everyone's pain, a girl that wants to help others more than anything. [Mami takes comfort in the topic of Madoka, wrapping herself in the warmth of her precious memories; her voice has gone soft with an obvious fondness. Then she lapses into silence as she considers her next words. She performs a perfect figure 8, legs moving in elegant strides. The tugging sensation in her heart, faint now in Utena's presence but still there, lessens just a bit.]

Sakura-san, though.....

[revolutionized]

[The silence passes without commentary from Utena. Right as she's about to ask if something's wrong, though, Mami pipes up again. She watches her face as she talks about Madoka, and her own expression softens. It's nice to see Mami like this, she realizes -- unburdened, if only for a little while.]

Ah, Madoka-chan was one of my princesses. I mean, well. [She blushes, rubs the back of her neck.] You know, when I thought I was...er. But you're right; she seems very kind and gentle.

[She knew Sayaka, in passing, and Homura was an acquaintance at least, but "Sakura-san" doesn't ring a bell.] Who's Sakura-san?