queenoflogs | [Closed] I heed the high voices

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[Closed] I heed the high voices

Characters: Ky Kiske and Dizzy
Date: December 2nd
Summary: Meeting under the mistletoe
Warnings: Kissing, mention of religious issues

Ky had been trying to think her way through everything with Dizzy, her main goal to be able to push aside any level of physical attraction so she could be with Dizzy the way she thought Dizzy wanted. And keeping the sexual out of it would certainly make it easier, would mean questions of religious right and moral conviction could be more easily dealt with. There was a risk even in emotional attachment: in this place Ky had no duty beyond to protect Dizzy but she would have to choose the duty of her world above a relationship, if she was even offered that choice instead of it being imposed on her.

She was rather lost in her thoughts at first, but her mouth shaped an automatic smile when she saw Dizzy coming the other way, before her brain had much of a chance to do anything beyond register that it was Dizzy. Then they were meeting, Ky stopping right in front of her. "Where were you headed?" she asked, thinking to spend a little time with her, maybe.

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And for Dizzy, any time she got to spend with Ky was a joy. It showed, clearly, in her disposition when the knight greeted her. It shined in her eyes, in the bounce of her step, and in the excited tone of her voice. The denial they had both gone through only served to strength her heart, and her desire to be with her noble knight... Probably much to the chagrin of Ky's inner conflict.

"Well, since people are saying normal food is showing up again, I thought I'd go replenish my pantry. The bears already gave me all the meat I needed, so now I'm off to pick some fruit and veggies."

"That's good," Ky said. It was impossible not to look at Dizzy's eyes, and once she had it was even harder to look away. Instead of getting easier with time, it seemed to be the opposite. Ky was past doubting if she was strong enough and into wondering if strength was at all the issue. Except that it had to be, didn't it? She'd never had to deal with these things before.

"Did you...want a hand with that, maybe?" Even beyond the fact that Ky couldn't refrain from wanting to spend time with her -- and had said she wouldn't any longer -- she could tell that distance didn't help. That this proximity made her want, but that when they were apart Ky still thought of Dizzy a lot.

"I'd love the company, if nothing else," Dizzy giggled. Because really, she didn't need Ky's help, but she absolutely wanted her there.

"It would be my pleasure to join you, then," Ky said. It was less for her about helping as well, since she was sure that it was something Dizzy could handle on her own. Still, an excuse was an excuse, and this one was better than many.

Ky shifted to try to move back and to the side, increasing the distance between then temporarily in order to get them oriented the right way. She hit a barrier, though, and tried to move further the other way to look at it, to see what she'd hit, but found herself similarly unable to move far from Dizzy at all.

Which was... completely perplexing to Dizzy. She stared at her much like an intrigued dog, head tilted to the side, puzzled by this bizarre behavior. Had Ky taken up miming? Was she trying to make Dizzy laugh? Confusion was apparent on her face.

"Um..."

"I can't..." This felt very odd to Ky, and the confusion Dizzy seemed to feeling served to make her feel embarrassed.

"Try stepping away from me, for a moment." Better to feel embarrassed than to be trapped, after all.

"Um... Alright." And she did as she was told, backing up step by step until... There it was. An invisible wall. She started a bit, looking around. "B-but..."

"I guess it's something the Queen is doing, for some reason," Ky said, trying to reach up to see if there was a ceiling to it as well.

"Her antics are usually harmless. Mostly, anyways. Maybe there's something we're supposed to do?" Dizzy was doing her best to be helpful, but the close space between them made it a bit difficult. She definitely couldn't just force her way out.

Ky looked up at her hands to brush a branch and see a sprig of mistletoe there. "Do you...know what this is?" Ky asked, because she'd rather not have to explain what she thought she'd figured out.

She peered at the plant, appearing to be deep in thought for a brief moment. She then snapped her fingers, turning to Ky. "It's a mistletoe. It's a hemi-parasitic plant that's native to the British Isles and other parts of Northwestern Europe. They tend to show up in winter time." A very textbook definition.

"There's a symbolic meaning too. I don't really know where it comes from, but people put it up around Christmas and if you meet someone else under it, you're s-supposed to...well."

Don't mind Ky turning a little red. "People generally kiss."

"Oh! Well I'm familiar with that tradition, yes..." And yet she somehow has not managed to put two and two together.

"Maybe, I mean..." Maybe Ky was wrong here, and they didn't have to kiss. She couldn't know for sure, after all.

Though, the look on the knight's face begins to finally turn the gears for Dizzy. Remembering all they'd been through lately... her look softened. She shook her head, lifting a hand to gently rest on Ky's shoulder.

"Whether it is, or whether it is not, please don't look so uncertain. It will be alright."

Alright was a very broad designation, and Ky wasn't entirely sure that it was guaranteed. After all, given that she had the power to hurt Dizzy, she didn't want to head down a path that would do that.

And Dizzy couldn't really pretend that Ky hadn't hurt her before, not in a way that Ky would believe.

"I... What do you want to do?"

Her smile remained, though it visibly faltered. She had to pay that a lot of thought. What did she want? She had once known that, without hesitation...

"What I want... is for us to be happy."

"Of course I would want that too." The flickering of Dizzy's smile made Ky's heart sink for a moment. That wasn't what she wanted, at all. She just didn't know how to do it, not really.

She stood there, for a moment biting her bottom lip, then nodded, determined. "If I can make you happy, I will be."

There was another pause, and she stepped in close to the other woman, leaning forward and gingerly resting her head against the knight's shoulder.

"What would make me happy... is for your uncertainty to wash away... so that you could love me truly."

Ky moved, carefully, to wrap her hand around Dizzy's lower back, avoiding her wings.

"When you say truly... What kind of love do you mean?"

"... With your heart, mind, and soul. To leave your doubts behind and trust in me. In us."

"It's me that I don't trust. Not you."

"I trust you... You should learn to trust yourself. I rest in your arms now, not afraid. I only look forward to the future... a future I want to share with you."

"That's...I--"

Ky tried to think through all of that, to try to think of what future they had in this place. She didn't know, but she could never know that anyway.

"I want to share my future with you as well."

"Good... Hearing you say that means I can do this without regret."

Dizzy craned herself up, reaching slowly to press her lips, oh so tenderly, to Ky's. She felt a spark there, and not from her knight's magic. Something... special was happening in that moment. She could feel it all around her. Her wings folded around them both, as if to keep their moment between them.

Ky was still for a moment, then she responded, letting Dizzy's wings draw her closer as her lips moved slightly against Dizzy's. She wasn't really thinking, but she still had the conscious control to note that she could stop it now, and to decide not to, starting to let her desire deepen as she kept kissing Dizzy, at least for a moment longer.

The relief and happiness that Dizzy exuded in having her affection so honestly returned was palpable. Her tail curled and her foot lifted and she swore she could hear fireworks or something equally cliche.-

Ky wouldn't say anything about fireworks, but she could feel her own heart thumping, could feel all the ways that her body thought that this was right. When she pulled her mouth away her body stayed against Dizzy's, still for the moment.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Dizzy giggled a bit, resting her head against Ky's chest, listening to that drumming heartbeat.

Ky lifted a hand to brush carefully over the top of Dizzy's hair, not really sure how to answer at all. Her words were still jumbled, confused in her head. But she couldn't stop smiling.

Dizzy giggled again, leaning in to press the tip of her nose to Ky's, giving it a little rub.

Ky snorted a little at that, then lowered her hand to Dizzy's cheek again, as she rubbed her nose against her back. Still, after a tentatively peaceful moment, she pulled back a little.

"Where do we go, from here?"

"Weren't we going to go gather food?" If there was a deeper point to the question, Dizzy was setting it aside in favor of simpler things. Babysteps were probably the best approach, after all.

Ah... Well, yes, that was the immediate. And maybe Dizzy had the right idea, or maybe she didn't, but certainly Ky couldn't say any better. "Yes. That sounds good."

See? It wouldn't be so bad. Taking Ky's hand, Dizzy happily moved to nuzzle against her knight's side.

"Everything else we can deal with as it comes."

Ky smiled at her, slight but genuine, and then it broadened. They could do the immediate, Dizzy was right, and there wasn't any point in dreading the future before it even came to pass.

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[Closed] I heed the high voices

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