I was a different person then. [She idly sproings one of her curls, a slow and thoughtful gesture.] On the surface, I acted much the same as I do now, but.....mm.

[Mami goes quiet, marshaling her thoughts. It's important, here, to not simply take the voice of her self-hatred for the gospel truth. That's a habit she's spent too long trying to break to be able to afford indulging it now.]

I guess...I was rather foolish. I was so afraid of rejection that I never let others in close, even when being alone was so painful. I thought that if I isolated myself, I wouldn't have my hopes shot down. ...but running away didn't do me any good. I just felt that terrible loneliness. Even so, I felt stuck in place - always distancing myself, unable to move forward.

[She speaks in calm, measured tones as she gazes off into the scenery, neither asking for pity nor seeking understanding.]

I'm still trying to change, you know. I don't want to be a girl that can only cry by herself - I want to connect to others, and like myself, and....and be happy.