"Mm.....sounds like a cartoon gone wrong, doesn't it?" Mami shifts, settling back - further into Utena's embrace, into the warmth and sense of safety it offers. Maybe it's selfish of her....maybe it's foolish. But she does it anyway, because to talk about this still hurts. Her entire existence, all the choices that led her to this moment, pivoted around Kyuubey's interference. If it wasn't for him, she would have died - that's all there was to it.

Still, part of Mami wishes she had a real choice. She might always wish for that, pointless as the desire is.

"Thanks, Utena-san." A pause. Mami closes her eyes. "Ah....but you shouldn't make it sound like it was easy for me. I almost- ...I wouldn't have been able to accept those things alone." Her voice grows soft in a tired, yet decided way; it's all right to admit her flaws, her mistakes, as long as she never again gives up the fight to change for the better. "I think that everything I've seen, that I've had to do in order to survive....it's done something to me, Utena-san. I'm not innocent anymore - I have weaknesses that could ruin everything if I let them. But, you know? I can't regret that moment with Kyuubey anymore. I have to let it go, because..." Her throat constricts. She swallows, hard. "...because that one thing, at least, is not my fault."

Her voice goes thin; there's an unsteadiness in it. Please, don't tell me that it is. Don't tell me I'm wrong to believe otherwise.